Rotten Tomatoes score: 35%
Angels in the Outfield, a remake of a little-remembered 1951 movie, is the tale of an orphan boy (a young Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and the supernatural beings he summons from heaven to help a struggling major-league ball club. It co-starred Danny Glover as George Knox, a fuming, cantankerous, irascible, grumpy, unpleasant, cynical, nasty baseball manager with a heart of gold. Christopher Lloyd has a supporting role as Al, the "boss angel," and Tony Danza plays an over-the-hill pitcher. Keep your eyes open for Matthew McConaughey and Adrien Brody as hapless team-members.
I loved this movie as a kid, but apparently my reaction was not shared by critics.
The movie opens with Roger (JoGo) and his friend J.P. bicycling to a convenient tree from which they can watch a California Angels game. They take advantage of their relaxing bike ride to unload some exposition on the audience, which establishes that they're living in a foster home with a woman named Maggie, played by the Home Alone 2 pigeon lady.
The game goes very poorly, since this movie would have us believe that the California Angels are a cartoon parody of a talentless baseball team. The game is announced by Ranch Wilder (Jay O. Sanders), who somehow hangs onto his job despite his undisguised animosity toward the home team. Manager George Knox gets fed up with the team's poor performance, marches onto the field, and gets into a fist-fight with his own pitcher, which clears the Angels dugout.
At the foster home, Roger has a conversation with his father, who explains in terms that the audience, but not Roger, will understand, that he is formally giving up custody of the boy. Asked when they will be a family again, the dad answers, "When the Angels win the pennant." We of course recognize this as the equivalent of "when pigs fly," but Roger takes it literally.
After the game, Ranch Wilder interviews Knox. During the interview, Knox and Wilder exchange some further exposition, informing the audience that they have a history of bad blood from their days as players. Knox concludes the interview by punching Ranch Wilder in the face and walking away. The Angels' team owner is none too happy about this, so he upbraids Knox through yet more expository dialogue, which lets us know that Knox spent ten successful years managing the Cincinnati Reds before being brought in as a fixer to save the struggling Angels.
That night at the foster home, Roger prays that God will cause the Angels to win the pennant, so that he and his dad can be reunited. One might think that God, who surely recognizes sarcasm when he hears it, would have looked for a way to explain to Roger that his father wasn't serious. But of course, then we wouldn't have a movie, so instead the Lord sends a squadron of divine beings to cheat--I mean "help."
For most of the second act, the angels (the real ones) perform miracles to boost the Angels (the team) out of last place and into first. Christopher Lloyd makes a couple of token appearances, explaining to Roger that no one else can see him and that Roger should try to prevent the public from finding out that there are real angels. Fortunately for the angels, the public seems to be only mildly surprised to see Matthew McConaughey jump 20 feet into the air and levitate for several seconds. The angels perform additional extremely subtle feats, such as causing the ball to hang in mid-air waiting for the batter to swing, psychokinetically forcing the opposing team to rack up 19 errors on one play, and possessing the physical form of George Knox to prevent him from cussing out an umpire.
Meanwhile, Roger develops a relationship with George Knox, who is the only person besides Roger and J.P. who knows the angels exist. Knox at first thinks Roger is delusional, but when Roger points out to him that a number of physically impossible miracles have obviously occurred before his eyes, he decides the boy might be onto something. Gradually enough that we can suspend our disbelief, Knox undergoes a complete change of personality and becomes fatherly and gentle.
Then, just in time for act three, not one but two setbacks occur. First, Roger learns that his father has formally surrendered custody, in spite of Roger's hyperliteral efforts to satisfy the technical terms of his dad's sarcastic promise. To make matters worse, J.P. has blabbed the big secret to Ranch Wilder, who delights in using this opportunity to bring shame and possible financial ruin on the team that pays his salary. George Knox holds a press conference to address the accusations of divine intervention, which I guess is like using steroids but more sacrilegious. The Angels' owner wants to fire him, but Maggie offers a plea of tolerance and the entire Angels roster promises to quit if George is fired.
With George Knox's career saved, Roger decides to temporarily forget about his status as a ward of the state of California and go enjoy the Pennant game against the White Sox. Christopher Lloyd appears just long enough to let Roger know that no angels will be helping--apparently the Almighty Creator of the universe is unwilling to meddle in the outcomes of championship baseball games. Also, Roger has by now learned that his father didn't mean what he said, and wasn't that the original reason the angels got involved? Never mind.
Christopher Lloyd also gives Roger some bittersweet news: Mel Clark (Tony Danza) will be donning a halo and silvery robe soon, as he is about to be diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Does this mean every Hall-of-Famer gets to be an angel in the next life, or only the ones whose deaths are sufficiently poignant? Christopher Lloyd flies away to grab his paycheck, and Roger encourages Knox to keep Mel in for the entire game. When all the chips are down and Mel has had enough, Knox convinces him that Roger has spied an angel who is going to give him one last miracle to win the game. I'm sure everyone remembers the scene where the entire stadium full of extras (including Knox's assistant Taylor Negron, who has spent the past 90 minutes kvetching about everything) stand and flap their arms in angel solidarity.
Of course Mel brings home the pennant, and everyone's story is wrapped up. Ranch Wilder gets fired by the team owner for consistently haranguing his listenership and belittling the team on-air. And in the final scene, Knox announces that he is adopting Roger and J.P.
I don't really see what's not to like about this movie. It certainly raises some interesting philosophical conundrums. For instance, what if a kid in Chicago had also prayed for his team to win? Does God have a system for sorting out mutually exclusive baseball miracle requests? Maybe God would split the difference by giving angels to Roger, and making the Chicago kid break his arm and become Rookie of the Year.
Anyway, this one may be pretty silly, but it's
So why not mention some of the things this movie teaches us about sportsmanship:
1. Children do not understand sarcasm.
And they are not above summoning superhuman beings because of their misunderstandings.
2. Championships have to be won on their own.
Of course, every single other game of the season is fair game for angels.
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