Family Matters Christmas episodes

I was a big fan of Family Matters when I was a kid. Now, "big fan" is one of those terms that has become watered down through overuse, to the point that one can express overpowering disgust for something merely by saying one is not a "big fan" of it. ("I'm not a big fan of Adolf Hitler.")

So I want to be clear: I was a very big fan of Family Matters when I was a kid. I used to record every episode on VHS (not because I missed it when it aired, but because I wanted to be able to watch it repeatedly), and I once set myself the challenge of going more than a day without doing a Steve Urkel impression. I almost made it.

This show might take the cake among sitcoms that jumped the rails of their original premises. Everybody knows how Fonzie jumped over a shark on water skis, but Happy Days more or less stayed true to its roots. Here was a thoroughly conventional, no-frills family sitcom featuring a middle class Chicago family full of people so salt-of-the-earth they gave the Cleavers a run for their money. When Steve Urkel joined the show halfway through the first season, it was no great upheaval at first; there was plenty of room in the cast for a wacky neighbor.

But when Urkel built a fully functional robotic version of himself in season three, there was no denying they were moving in an unusual direction. He would go on to invent so many other impossible devices that, by the eighth season, Carl Winslow would brush off Urkel's time machine as "no big deal." Apart from the sci-fi misadventures, the Winslow family had far more than its share of life-or-death crises. Whether falling through the ice on a frozen lake, defusing a bomb inside the console of a treadmill, hanging for dear life from a defective fire escape, or landing an out-of-control plane, these suburbanites did not want for excitement.

As much as the world loved Urkel, I think Carl was the real reason to keep tuning in. He was hands-down the best TV dad in the business, flawed and occasionally short-tempered but invincibly decent. And he had a hell of a singing voice:

Actually, the whole family sang at the end of most of the Christmas episodes, led by Telma Hopkins as Aunt Rachel, who never passed up a chance at a musical number. I can't find any decent videos, but they were all pretty talented (especially the invisible choir that would join in for the second verse). There were a total of seven Christmas episodes, which makes one for every season except the first and third. I remember some of these better than others, but I'll see if I can't find something to say about them all.

---

S2 E13: Have Yourself a Very Winslow Christmas: Richard Correll, 1990
IMDb rating: 7.2 out of 10

This was the episode where Urkel proved the existence of Santa Claus to the doubting Winslow family. When his parents ditch him with Uncle Cecil over Christmas vacation, Steve plans to spend the holidays with the Winslows. But after he breaks Laura's favorite antique Christmas tree ornament, she orders him to stay away. Meanwhile, Carl is stuck jingling all the way to try in vain to find a Freddie Teddy toy for Aunt Rachel's son, Little Richie.

No, no. Little Richie.

Laura eventually forgives Steve and invites him back to the Winslow house for Christmas. He expresses his gratitude by waking the family up at 5:30 a.m. to see what Santa has brought. Little Richie discovers a Freddie Teddy doll that no one can account for. Quod Santae demonstrandum.

---

S4 E10: It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Urkel: John Tracy, 1992
IMDb rating: 8 out of 10

When Steve once again breaks something valuable, Laura chews him out and tells him she never wants to speak to him again, and that he can't guilt her out of it by moping and making the live studio audience go "awww." Enter Laura's guardian angel, T.K. Carter from Good Morning, Miss Bliss, who shows her what the world would be like if she and Steve switched places.

This gimmick manages to combine two reliable sitcom standbys: a changing places story and an homage to It's a Wonderful Life. Mostly it's an excuse to let Kelly Shanygne Williams do her impression of Urkel (which is excellent), but it also gave Jaleel White a rare opportunity to talk in his normal voice. Later, he would transmogrify himself into Stefan Urquelle whenever he wanted to do that. After Laura walks a mile in Steve's moccasins, she returns to her normal life with a better understanding of what it's like to have an unrequited pathological obsession with your neighbor. I can't help feeling that the angel is a little hard on Laura in this episode. Steve Urkel is pathetic, but there's a limit to anyone's patience.

---

S5 E11: Christmas Is Where the Heart Is: Richard Correll, 1993
IMDb rating: 7.7 out of 10

Finally a Christmas episode that doesn't revolve around breaking precious objects (though I think at least a few things did get broken incidentally along the way). Instead, Carl and Urkel get trapped on a subway during a power outage. That's similar to the Boy Meets World New Year's Eve episode, but even though Steve has to try to brighten the other passengers' spirits, he doesn't call anybody "buckers."

---

S6 E11: Miracle on Elm Street: Richard Correll, 1994

IMDb rating: 7.7 out of 10

Eddo Winslow accidentally throws out a favorite old doll of Laura's, and she is devastated. Steve makes things right by wandering around a city dump until he finds it. Meanwhile, after the Winslow adults impress upon Little Richie the importance of doing acts of charity, Richie invites a transient named Ben to spend Christmas with them. Ben reveals to Carl that he is really Santa Claus and has been in search of a family that understands the true meaning of Christmas. Having done so, he goes back to the North Pole. Carl thinks he's delusional, but when a beloved toy from Carl's childhood inexplicably appears under the tree, Carl realizes Ben was for real.

Okay, but why did Santa want to find the perfect family? What did he accomplish? Let's move on.

---

S7 E11: Fa La La La Laagghh!: Richard Correll, 1995
IMDb rating: 7.2 out of 10

Why the heck did they give it that title?

By this point, Urkel is living with the Winslows. Carl refuses to let him put up his ridiculously ornate Christmas decorations, but he changes his mind when he hears about a neighborhood house-decorating contest. When Steve's animatronic decorations malfunction, Carl has to resort as dressing up as Santa Claus and sitting with Steve in a sleigh on the roof, eventually causing the roof to collapse. I can remember at least two other episodes where someone fell through the Winslows' roof. Family Matters outdid even Home Improvement when it comes to gratuitous property damage.

Another major staple of the series was food fights, so it's fairly remarkable that Mother Winslow's famous gingerbread cookies, which anchor the B-plot of this episode, do not get thrown at anyone.

And you know, I've always thought Carl Winslow would make a good Santa, and I'm not just saying that because he's overweight.

---

S8 E13: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear: Gregg Heschong, 1996
IMDb rating: 6.9 out of 10

Steve and Carl spend this episode lost in the Wisconsin woods while looking for a tree, until Steve's knowledge of astronomy guides them to safety. Back in Chicago, Laura has to choose between her ex-boyfriend and Stefan Urquelle. In case you find this confusing, let me explain that by this point in the series, Steve Urkel's alter-ego Stefan was a separate person, created by Steve's duplicating machine. I hope that's cleared that one up.

---

S9 E11: Deck the Malls: Gary Menteer, 1997
IMDb rating: 7.5 out of 10

I'm not sure if I've ever seen this. I definitely don't remember it.

And that's disappointing, because the description of it on Wikipedia specifically mentions Urkel's long-term girlfriend, Myra Boutros Boutros Monkhouse. She was one of many secondary characters I haven't had the opportunity to mention here, which is too bad. Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Lieutenant Murtagh, and school janitor Mr. Looney (that's "Loo-NAY"; it's French) are also worthy of more space than I'm able to devote to them.

---

Well, that was exhausting. But I can say unequivocally that this entire series is