John Murlowski, 1998
Rotten Tomatoes audience rating: 33%
This was direct-to-video, so the best I can get is an audience score from Rotten Tomatoes. Self-selected audience reviews are usually more generous than critics, so if even the viewers didn't like it, that doesn't bode well.
This is of course based on the long-running Richie Rich comics. It is purportedly a sequel to the 1994 film Richie Rich, but there is zero continuity and no returning cast members. That was a grossly underrated movie, and we'll have to get to it at some point. But for now, let's deal with the Christmas version.
In the first act, Richie learns that Professor Keenbean (Eugene Levy doing an unnecessary English accent, but still wearing his trademark horn-rimmed glasses) has just invented magic. His "wishing machine" can make anyone's wish come true, but only on Christmas Eve. But while he's still getting the kinks worked out, Richie will have to contend with his insufferable cousin Reggie van Dough (not to be confused with Laurence van Dough, the evil CFO played by John Larroquette in the first movie).
Reggie is the bad kind of rich person—he enjoys abusing his power over others, he openly detests poor people, and he resents Richie for ever doing anything nice for anyone. So when Richie participates in a charity event, delivering presents to orphans on a self-powered sleigh, Reggie sabotages the sleigh and destroys all the presents, leaving Richie holding the bag. Richie knows that Reggie is responsible, but rather than make even a passing effort to clear his name, he immediately resorts to wishing himself out of existence with Keenbean's machine.
So there you have it. This has been building up to a Wonderful Life story. Richie now finds himself in a world where he has never been born and Reggie owns his home, his family, his family's business, and the entire town. (Apparently Reggie sued his parents to escape their custody, then sued Mr. and Mrs. Rich for the right to become a despot. It's harsh, but that's our legal system.) Even Richie's closest friends no longer recognize him.
But wait. If Richie has never been born, how does he exist? He's not a ghost. Everyone can see him; they just don't recognize him. If he wished himself out of existence, shouldn't he just cease to exist? You know what? Forget it.
In order to wish the world back to normal, Richie must escape from Reggie's secret police and contact his friends from his previous life. He meets his trusted valet Cadbury (who is now a rock musician) and Professor Keenbean. Keenbean tells him that he and the local kids will have to break into a museum to steal the world's largest wishbone from a dinosaur statue to make the wishing machine work again. Unfortunately, the police show up, lock up the gang, and deliver the wishing machine to Reggie.
Reggie uses the machine to wish for the power of flight, and if you've ever seen Superman IV, it's not quite as bad as that. Luckily, the Rich family dog pulls the plug on the machine before Reggie can wish for world domination. Richie and the gang bust out of the joint just in time to race back to Rich Manor at the eleventh hour.
In a pulse-pounding scene, Keenbean spends five minutes attempting to connect an alligator clamp to a bundle of wires, and the clock begins to toll midnight as Richie prepares to make his wish. The gang all cheer him on as he apparently struggles to formulate an appropriate wish. Finally he overcomes this seemingly insurmountable obstacle and wishes to "be Richie Rich again for the next Christmas, the next Christmas, and every Christmas for the rest of my life!" I'm not sure if he is going to continue to exist for the other 364 days of every year, but I guess that's a start.
For a straight-to-video movie, this is about what you'd expect. Say what you will about the original Richie Rich movie; at least it felt like they put some effort into it. Martin Mull is clearly phoning it in as Richie's dad, and the kid from Seventh Heaven is no replacement for Macauly Culkin from the first movie. On the plus side, cinema's Richard Riehle gives a winning performance as a cop. (He has people skills! He's good at dealing with people! Why can't you idiots understand that?) Also, one of the kids is Michelle Trachtenberg, who if I'm not mistaken has gone on to do other things.
Take it for what it is, and you shouldn't be disappointed.
TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS:
1. It's wrong for children not to exist.
If they don't exist, their parents can't possibly spend sufficient time with them, and if we've learned anything at all, it's that parents should spend time with their children.
2. Infinitely powerful inventions have some potential to create mischief.
Let that be a lesson to you scientists out there who think you can invent a wishing machine and expect nothing to go wrong.
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