Rotten Tomatoes score: N/A
Yet again I have to substitute audience reviews for a proper Rotten Tomatoes score. Even the audience was harsh on this one; they gave it 38%.
On Christmas Eve, ambiguously North American teenager Danny Wrigley (Josh Zuckerman) realizes that he has waited too long to do any Christmas shopping. Desperate for some cash to make a few last-minute purchases, he begs first his parents (Torri Higginson and Barclay Hope) and then his younger sister (Brenda Grate), who for some reason enjoys reading quantum physics textbooks in her spare time. The only one who comes through for him is his kid brother (Rhys Williams), whom he scams into buying some worthless junk from his room.
Mom and Dad are furious that Danny would take advantage of the boy, comparing him to Dad's good-for-nothing brother, Uncle Nick. Danny idolizes Uncle Nick, but his parents consider him a bad role model.
And now we meet Uncle Nick (Bryan Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle and later Breaking Bad), who is in the midst of a con game gone sour. Two nerds and their hulk-like enforcer have tied Nick to a chair and demanded that he pay back the money he owes them. Ever the trickster, Nick escapes his imprisonment and flees in a Santa costume.
Shortly thereafter, he arrives at his brother's home on Christmas Eve. The kids regard Nick as a welcome surprise guest, but Dad is less pleased: "The Spanish weren't expecting the Inquisition, but that didn't stop Torquemada." (Is this a Monty Python reference, or just a medieval history reference?) Conveniently for the plot, Mom and Dad get called away to the hospital (apparently they're both doctors) to treat an outbreak of "reindeer flu." (Is that similar to swine flu? It sounds kind of serious.)
Before they leave, the parents hustle all the kids to bed, even Danny, who is none too happy about it. Later, Nick sets to work looking for a way to solve his liquidity problem, but his creditors have hacked into his laptop using some sort of program that seems to work like a one-way webcam so they can taunt and threaten him, while also tracking his location. He responds by click-and-dragging a virus icon onto the streaming video window. This disables not only their tracking software but also "every other working computer within 50 miles." I guess it's one of those airborne computer viruses, because it even disables Santa's computer-controlled sleigh.
Santa Claus lands on the roof, startling Danny and Uncle Nick. Time and space within the house come to a standstill, courtesy of Santa's phenomenal cosmic powers, and St. Nick drops down the chimney. Yes, according to this movie, Santa is able to make his deliveries undetected because he carries a little device that can freeze time, and it also causes objects to shrink for good measure. Unfortunately, the gizmo malfunctions and Danny and Uncle Nick catch Kris Kringle in the act. Alarmed, Santa stumbles, bangs his head against the mantle, suffers a severe concussion, and--
No, he doesn't die. Uncle Nick assures us that Santa is just unconscious, so it's nothing at all like The Santa Clause. Once Uncle Nick discovers the remarkable powers of Santa's gizmos and gadgets, he decides that he and Danny should take over for Santa for the rest of the night. Nick, of course, hopes to turn this into some kind of scam, which Scott Calvin from The Santa Clause would never have done, so you know it's different.
The ersatz Clauses begin their mission, with Uncle Nick snagging a few valuables from each house they hit. He starts with a silver candlestick--what an old-school crook. Danny discovers that Santa's computer lists him as "naughty", and in one of the movie's genuinely funny jokes, he wonders if this is why he got a "Best of 70s Disco" CD for Christmas last year. Nick persuades Danny that Santa is an unfair grouch, and that they should take advantage of their position to do things their way.
Meanwhile, Santa comes to when the brother and sister rouse him, and he panics on the realization that Uncle Nick has jacked his sleigh. For some reason, solving this problem will require them to go to a computer store, which conveniently is open in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve. One of the stupidest moments in the movie occurs when Santa gets jumped, en route, by a street gang and manages to defeat them by tickling them aggressively.
Uncle Nick persuades Danny that they should stop off at a high-society banquet, ostensibly to Robin-Hood the feast and give it to the homeless. In reality, Nick just wants to pilfer the guests' jewelry. Danny catches him in the act and insists that they return home to hand the sleigh off to the real Santa. Nick pockets the magic device and runs off on his own, while Danny flies the sleigh home. The sister attempts to fix the sleigh's damaged control system--apparently her quantum physics book had a chapter on computer maintenance--but she fails.
While plotting his next move, Uncle Nick learns that the three crooks from before are in town and heading for the Wrigley house. Santa tries to defend the household with his moronic tickle-fu, but his Jedi mind tricks don't work on these guys; only money. Luckily, Uncle Nick shows up and uses the shrinking device to intimidate the villains into leaving.
Uncle Nick does his second good deed in life by donating his laptop to be Santa's new onboard computer. Santa mutters something about reconsidering his black and white conception of morality and flies off to return Nick's stolen merchandise and finish his Christmas deliveries. The next morning, Uncle Nick discovers that Santa has left him a present, having decided that Uncle Nick isn't so irredeemable after all.
So everything is back to normal. Uncle Nick only took Santa's job for one night and now he's back to normal, so this is nothing whatsoever like The Santa Clause.
I'm not sure what to say about this one. It's okay. Bryan Cranston gives a decent performance, and it's easy enough to sit through. It's definitely not a good movie, and I think I may have detected a very slight similarity to some other Christmas movie, but I can't put my finger on it. Anyway, 38% seems too low, so this movie is just a little bit
1. Not even an inveterate con man is completely beyond saving.
When you least expect it, he may have a totally unmotivated change of heart.
2. When you take over for Santa Claus, it's okay to do it just once, rather than transforming into the new Santa Claus.
I'm not sure how relevant this will be for most people, but there it is.
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