Buzzfeed article ranking: 11
This is the story of Cody Griffin (an actor by the remarkable name of Chez Starbuck), the most popular dude in his junior high school. He's the star of the swim team, which in this world apparently makes you extremely cool. In fact, he's so cool that he's dating Courtnee Draper, the star of Stepsister from Planet Weird. What Cody doesn't know is that he is in reality a mermaid.
(There is an incessant running gag where someone calls Cody a mermaid, and he insists that he is a "merman." Let's just agree to call him a mer-individual.)
As Cody's thirteenth birthday approaches, he begins to notice some changes. He becomes a better swimmer than ever, which is good, but he also requires gallons of water a day to slake his heroic thirst. Not to mention that he is growing scales on his hands, and he has the power to create electricity.
Now, I know this is just a stupid movie, but there are some very implausible elements in this story. I don't mean the fact that this kid is a mermaid; I'll give them that. But why is he becoming a better swimmer? Mermaids are strong swimmers because half of their body is a fish tail, not because of any magical proclivity for swimming—It stands to reason that, until he actually transforms into a mermaid, Cody should not have any special advantage in the water. Second, mermaids are saltwater animals: why would he have a craving for drinking-fountain water? Freshwater should be harmful to him. Lastly, is he a merman or an electric-eel-man? Is he Blanka?
Anyway, Cody's dweeby schoolmate Jess is the first to diagnose Cody's condition. As it happens, Jess's father (the bum who sold the Spider-Man costume to Jameson in Spider-Man 2) once had a close encounter with a mermaid, but he has never been able to prove his account. Cody's mother (Lisa Stahl Sullivan) and father (Dave Coulier!) call a doctor, whose incompetence is so monumental that he diagnoses Cody's wall-crawling abilities as a symptom of puberty.
(Wait, wall-crawling? Is he the Amazing Spider-Man now? What does climbing walls have to do with being a mermaid? Is it because mermaids have scales, and he's scaling the wall? Is he going to get heat-vision next?)
Finally, Dave Coulier and Cody's mother admit that Cody was a foundling who appeared on their boat one day with no explanation. Well, that explains it. I wonder what child protective services thought about this.
Once Cody's transformation is complete, Jess's father kidnaps him to attempt to draw his elusive mer-mother to where he can capture her and finally substantiate his wild fish tale. Jess intervenes to rescue Cody and his mother, but he is injured in the process, and the only way to save his life is for Cody to defibrillate him with his electric powers. (That would never work and would undoubtedly kill Jess, but I'll just accept it.)
Cody's mermaid mother explains by mental telepathy that Cody must journey into the ocean depths with her for the summer, after which he can return to his terrestrial existence in time for school. His parents reluctantly agree, because at this point why the hell not? Courtnee Draper cautions him against cheating on her with mermaids, which is a very disturbing thought.
This story is a lot like The Luck of the Irish, in that it involves a pre-teen boy who discovers his true parentage because of a fantastical metamorphosis. However, it's a whole hell of a lot weirder than The Luck of the Irish. It almost seems like they made that movie because they wanted to give this another try, to see if they could make it more entertaining and less creepy and nonsensical. Irish was manifestly a huge improvement, contrary to their rankings, so that makes this
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